Reevaluating everything about myself
by strawberrycheese1990
Summary: Set after BIOTA. Basically what if Kurt took Blaine comparing him to Karofsky literally, and started to re-evaluate himself. Here is the after affects.


**AN: OK well this is my first Glee fic, and I apologise in advance it's something that came to me in the early hours of the morning, after we watching BIOTA. It is basically a what if Kurt took Blaine comparing him to Karofsky literally, and started to re-evaluate himself. Here is the after affects. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Glee; it all belongs to FOX and Ryan Murphy. I hope that covers everything. **

'Which of this is mine,' asked Burt eyeing up the array of food on the counter.

'Whatever you, just help yourself.' Came the quiet resigned response.

'What any of it.'

'Yeah, dig in.'

To which Burt did enthusiastically picking a bit of everything, all the while Kurt counting the calories in his head, along with the amount of fat and salt, in his father's dinner.  
>He couldn't help but feel confused, sure it was not his place to tell people how to live their lives, that had been pointed out to him quite clearly only recently, but is it really so wrong, to want to look after his dad and try and ensure his continued good health. How is it wrong for not wanting to sit and watch his dad eat and work him-self to an early grave? For not wanting to repeat the ordeal that was sitting by his father's hospital bed, not knowing if he was going to come back to him or if his father was going to join his mother and leave him an orphan. How was it so wrong to care?<p>

Ok he was hurt when he was compared to Karofsky by Blaine, how could he not be.

'And why did he do that.'

'Because he didn't like who I was'

'Sort of what you're doing now then'

But after lots of sleepless nights maybe Blaine did have a point, he did didn't like Rachel's fashion sense but it doesn't mean he can judge her for it, and say it's wrong, it's part of who she is. 

But isn't that part of my personality, the part that has kept my safe and sane all these years, my mask, so does that mean I'm wrong. 

But then everyone does it to a degree, am I just worse because I say what I'm thinking. Maybe it's that maybe you can think things but as long as you don't say it its fine.

Like I said previously, this is confusing. 

At least I have now realised that I am so unattractive with an ugly personality that a guy, a gay guy, would rather go straight then go out with me. But then if I'm that horrible then why has he been my friends for all this time. Has he just noticed it, or did he always know it but just hoped that he could change me. Was he just trying to do the one thing that I refused to let my bullies do, was he just trying to change me, to make my personality different, better.

But this still takes away from my original point, I love my dad just as he is, but how is it wrong that by trying to get him to eat healthily, I equate to David Karofsky.  
>Maybe if Blaine and I ever speak again I could possible ask him to clear some things up. U never know he may feel like he is doing the world a service for getting rid of my ugly personality, but until then I shall just have to look away while my dad just slowly kills himself, in the vague hope he does something about it himself, or Carol does.<br>As for me it looks like I'm keeping my opinions to myself from now on.

Blaine was confused. It's been a week since he come back of the closet, and he thought that things between him and Kurt where getting back to normal. The fight in the coffee shop was over, and in Blaine's mind it was all forgotten about water under the bridge. But that still doesn't explain Kurt's behaviour of late.

It wasn't anything outwardly noticeable in fact Blaine didn't notice it until a couple of days ago, it was just that conversations with Kurt were different, heck Kurt was different. Their conversations used to cover anything and everything each topic was covered with total honestly, and now they barely got passed the superficial small talk.

And another thing that Blaine only noticed earlier that day, he now refuses to give an opinion. At first he just thought that it was the awkward stage after a fight, and it would soon get back to normal but that obviously isn't the case.

So needless to say Blaine was confused.

It all came to ahead on the Friday warblers meeting. The rehearsal went as usual, although Wes was a bit power crazy, and fact that all the warblers were used to, and joked about, however when a Blaine, Kurt, Jeff and Nick were discussing the practice later on, Kurt refused to comment, and only said that Wes's over bearing nature is a part of him, and it's not right to want to change any part of a person.

'Ok seriously Kurt, what's going on with you, you're normally the first one to comment on Wes's somewhat tyrannical nature, normally in front of him, but all you say now is that it's a part of him, that we shouldn't want to change. Who says we want to change anything, it's just a joke, something that you seem to have forgotten this last week.'

'Well I'm just making sure that I don't bully anyone, by expressing my own opinions, we all know how much you hate bullies, and what with Dalton's zero tolerance policy I've got to be careful don't I.' Was the somewhat sarcastic reply. A whole week of keeping everything to himself, has not done Kurt any favours, and if the only way he was going to get a chance at being himself was in an argument then at this point he relished the opportunity even if it was with Blaine.

'What Kurt that makes no sense, having an opinion is not bullying.' Blaine looked around at his fellow Warblers hoping they had a better idea of what this is about, judging by the puzzled faces, they didn't.

'Oh really well, you've changed your tune haven't you, I mean only last week you compared me to Karofsky, but then again that might have just been you helping me what was it, oh yeah try to fit in, and shed my old coat ready to grow a new one.'

'Kurt, I didn't... that wasn't... Kurt you're nothing like Karofsky.' Blurted out Blaine eventually, really not sure what the hell was going on.

'Well obviously I must be otherwise you wouldn't have said it' then all of a sudden the fight visibly left the countertenor,

'Look Blaine, I'm too tired to fight with you, I've tried to do what you've said, I've tried to conform to become the Dalton boy drone that seems to come to you all so easily, but it's hard, and no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to do what you want, so I'm just gonna go home, and do something which I actually seem good at my homework, and then I'm gonna have to watch my dad eat himself into an early grave, because as it has been so effectively pointed out I can't bully people into changing what I don't like, even if I only do it because I care. So that's it I'm a lost cause go move onto someone else who you can actually help become a better person, and I'll just stay out of your way.'

With that the defeated boy turned on his heel and walked away leaving 3 very confused school boys behind him.

'What the heck was that about!' exclaimed Nick, Jeff nodding along showing his agreement to the statement.

'I messed up, that's what that was about. I screwed up bad, and the worse thing is that I have only just realised it.'

'Well you better fix it and soon, because no one should ever look that defeated, especially not someone like Kurt.' Was the reply, before Nick and Jeff left, leaving the soloist standing in the empty corridor at the base of the sweeping staircase on which he first met Kurt.

It wasn't long before he moved; going in the opposite direction of Nick and Jeff, out towards the car park. This needed to be fixed, tonight.

**AN: Ok so I'm leaving it there just because it was never meant to be this long, and anything else I seem to write to finish it is rubbish, even worse than what is already written, so the rest is gonna be left to your imaginations. **

**I Hope you enjoyed it, if so please review. Thank you **


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